date:Sunday, July 19, 2009
time:3:52 AM
Ah boy ah ..what must I do to make you understand ?You are my brother , Ong Poh Hong's brother , will I ever ever harm you ?I won't .. But why are you doing all this kind of things ?Ignoring me when I talk to you ? Pretending you don't know anything ? Talk to me only when you like it ? Not telling me any of your problems ?I am your sister my dear brother , you blood sister ..If we were to compare the time dad , mum & me spend with you , it will be like .. I am the one bringing you up ..Where are the you when you were truly my brother ?Why must you do this to yourself ?Yah , I know you learn to hit the wall was partly because of seeing me do it or heard of me doing it .. But do you know that hitting the wall , it ain't only you suffering , dad , mum & me are too !Must you do stuffs that makes people give up on you ?Seeing your grade & you attitude hurts me ..I admit I ain't a good sister but I dare to say that I love you .Maybe you won't know , but the purpose of me still living here , trying hard not to turn bad & most importantly , still alive & kicking well is because of you & baby !Dad & mum is old enough to look after themselves .I know you are 13 , secondary 1 student .I know you know your ways well . I know you is a teenager now .But don't forget , you is still my brother , my small brother .I know friends are important & I will definitely blame you if you ever let your friends down .I am not blaming you or criticising the friends you are with but why are you learning the bad side of them ?Yes , we should mix friends from both the bad & the good but we should learn stuffs that are worth learning from them .Work hard from the good side & loyalty from the others ..I too have many , in fact more & worst friends than yours , but I never went astray .I won't mind you hanging with your friends . Really , but please remember that this is your home & we are you family ..I am your sister right ?Your sister ..Now they wanted to send you to boy's home .Going to boy's home is not a bad thing but do you know that if you are to ever go there , you will suffer !Know why ?You are just a 13 years old boy . You are so small size . You don't even know what is the world outside ; you have not seen the worst .You are still a kid . I know people are going to say that :" He is 13 , he have his own freedom . He will understand . You worried too much . He isn't a kid ."But to me , you are still my small brother forever . In my eyes , you will always be small .You go there definitely will get bullied .Such a small size boy like you ..You have no backing . No people inside to help you ..Please don't go ..Do you know that if I can , I would be willing to replace you & go to girl's home despite knowing that I will suffer too ?I believe that dad , mum & I , we are all willing to do everything for you . Because we are your family ..If this can works , I am willing to commit some fucking crimes & go girl's home with the chance of you not going into a boy's home .If this can works , I am willing to tell them that all those stuffs that you did was because I forced you to .If anything can works , I will do everything just to keep you & baby & dad & mum safe ..But why must you start giving up on yourself ?You are just 13 ..Even if you don't think of yourself & me , think of dad , mum & baby .They need you as much as how you need them when you was just a baby .How can you bear to let us all watch & suffer with you ?You can don't study , I will work extra hard for you .You can always play , I will minus time from my rest time to help you do your stuffs .You can anything & I will try my best to replace you .Just don't please , don't give up on yourself ..I We really love you ..We really do ..Labels: ; i cried with blood from my heart
